December 8, 2014

Visit appliance showroom.

Choose KitchenAid dishwasher and microwave with cool handle.

May 16, 2015

Spot KitchenAid appliance while running through Sears to shop for teenage boy’s summer job clothes.

Notice new style handle.

Wrinkle nose.

Ask no one in particular: What’s with the ugly knurling and metallic looking red rims on the sides?

Fully aware that the choices you’ve made as a couple throughout your entire married life can be summed up with the word discontinued, make mental note to follow up with appliance rep because you know what’s coming.

May 23

Email appliance rep asking if cool, old style handle seen last December is still available.

May 27

Read response from appliance rep confirming death to cool, old style handle.

Learn: no remaining inventory with cool, old style handle.

Learn: KitchenAid now offers no other handle but new style handle.

Wrinkle nose.

May 28

Search online for different model microwave and dishwasher.

Locate dishwasher but become alarmed when unable to find microwave with desired door style in your price point.

Email appliance rep.

May 29

Have phone conversation with appliance rep.

Make microwave decision.

Email appliance rep about dishwasher.

Visit appliance showroom.

Order discontinued KitchenAid microwave with suitable handle and door style before inventory depletes.

Review warranty guidelines with appliance rep to ensure we’re not hanging ourselves.

Discuss dishwasher option but find no model of it in showroom.

Drive to Best Buy.

Find dishwasher.

Wrinkle nose.

Return home.

Read latest email response from appliance rep.

Create 2 PowerPoint slides to clarify gazillion details swimming in your head.

June 1

Email slides to appliance rep.

June 3

Read email response from appliance rep.

Make dishwasher decision.


June 5

Pick up microwave at appliance showroom.

Order discontinued KitchenAid dishwasher with suitable handle before inventory depletes.

Return home grateful for avoiding new style handle.

Chalk up two points in discontinued column.

Relish saving $508 in the process.

Unsuccessfully ignore nagging thoughts about other items you’ve chosen being discontinued.

Question again builder’s relentless insistence that you finalize decisions 14 months before occupancy.

June 6

Read email from appliance rep advising you to check microwave for freight damage while still time to order replacement.

June 7

Carefully unpack microwave to check for freight damage.

Find none.

Breathe sigh of relief.

Re-pack microwave.


June 9

Pick up dishwasher at appliance showroom.

Put off freight damage inspection until tomorrow.

Wonder just how much more stuff you can cram into the climate controlled storage unit you currently call home.


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